STORE WARS
by ElectricSnowman
Summary: What would happen if the Crash Bandicoot villains were forced to go to the store to buy party balloons for a birthday party? Chaos ensues! This story also involves a fan character of mine. This is based off of an episode of Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends.
1. Field Trip to the Mall

"Alright people!" N. Tropy yelled. "I want this party to be perfect! Scarlett, you get the streamers! Joe, you get the cake! Pinstripe, you get the silverware! Tiny, you get the plates!"

_SMASH! _

"Okay, N. Gin, _YOU_ get the plates! Let's MOVE, people!" Everyone did what they were told.

"...Oh, and Cortex, you get the party balloons!" N. Tropy finished.

Scarlett looked around and realized there was a problem. "Uh, N. Tropy...we don't HAVE any party balloons..." she muttered.

"WHAT!? NO PARTY BALLOONS!?" N. Tropy screamed at her.

"I'm sorry, sir! Don't hurt me!" she panicked.

"Well, then you go to the store and get some!" N. Tropy yelled at Cortex.

"WHAT? Are you kidding me!? The party starts in 30 minutes!" Cortex frowned.

"Plenty of time!" N. Tropy said as he handed him his car keys.

"How did you get my—" Cortex began, but he didn't have time. "Since when were YOU the boss of everyone!?" he yelled.

"Listen PAL, I want this party to be PERFECT for Uka-Uka, okay!?" N. Tropy yelled back.

"You're trying to be his favorite, aren't you?" Cortex raised an eyebrow.

"NO—NOW GET ME THOSE STUPID PARTY BALLOONS!" N. Tropy screamed.

"Okay okay sheesh!" Cortex yelled as he ran out the door. He headed towards his car.

"Where are you going?" Nina asked him.

"Not now, Nina. I only have 30 minutes to run to the mall and back," Cortex told her.

"OOHH...THE MALL...can I come!?" Nina asked.

"No."

"Aw, come on! I still need to get a gift for Uka-Uka!" Nina yelled.

"Sorry Nina, there isn't time! Maybe next time," Cortex said. He turned around, but Nina grabbed his arm.

"I'll be REALLY quick, I swear! It'll be like I'm not even there!" she begged.

"NINA—" Cortex began.

Nina did her pleading smile.

Cortex sighed angrily and yelled, "FINE!"

"REALLY?" Nina lit up.

"Yeah, just hurry, okay?" Cortex said.

"Heh heh...he always goes for the pearly whites..." Nina grinned as hopped into the car. "Oh wait, I need some money!" She ran back into the house.

"NINA!" Cortex yelled in frustration.

Soon, Nina brought everyone outside.

"This isn't a field trip, Nina! I thought you said you needed some money!" Cortex told her.

"I do! How much do ya got?" Nina asked Scarlett.

"5 bucks," she said.

"Good..." Nina said, taking it.

"3 dollars and 22 cents," Komodo Joe said. Nina took that, too.

"4 dollars and a quarter..." Pinstripe said.

"Uh huh..." Nina said, taking it.

"2 dollars and 15 cents," Tiny said.

"Horrible, but I'll take it anyway," Nina muttered.

"6 dollars and 5 cents," Dingodile said.

"Perfect!" Nina grinned as she looked at all the money in her hands. She looked at N. Gin.

"Nothing," N. Gin said.

"WHAT!? NOTHING!?" Nina yelled. "Well, then you can't go the mall with us!"

"Come on, Nina...N. Gin may want to get a gift for Uka-Uka too! If you could just let him borrow a dollar or two—" Pinstripe began.

"NEVER!" Nina growled as she hugged all the money.

"JUST GET IN THE CAR!" Cortex screamed.

Everyone scrambled into the car. "Not you!" Nina yelled, pushing N. Gin out.

"GET IN THE CAR GET IN THE CAR GET IN THE CAR!" Cortex screamed again. Scarlett pulled N. Gin into the car and everyone took off.

* * *

><p>When they finally got to the mall, they hurried to the front door.<p>

"Here ya go." Joe held the door for everyone.

"Thanks!" Cortex said.

Right when Joe was about to follow everyone inside, Nina pushed N. Gin out the door. "Oh no you don't! No one's allowed in the mall without money! It's the law! Now go on, SHOO!" she yelled at him.

"Nina, enough already!" Cortex yelled.

"YOU WIN THIS TIME..." Nina growled at N. Gin.

"NINA!" Cortex screamed. Nina and N. Gin ran inside. Joe was about to follow them, but more people were coming in, so she held the door for them.

"Alright, now we just need to find the party store..." Cortex muttered. He looked around, and realized someone was missing. "HOLY MOLY! WE LOST JOE!" he panicked.

"Cortex, over there!" Scarlett said, pointing to the entrance. Joe was holding the door for a seemingly endless line of people.

"Do you think we should get him?" Pinstripe asked.

"No, I think he's fine. He'll probably be there for a while. Now, to find that party store!" Cortex said.

"I can ask for directions," Scarlett suggested.

"Scarlett...heh heh...men don't need directions, okay?" Cortex told her. "I'll lead the way!"

Pretty soon, they were all playing a game of Follow the Leader. They all started walking straight. Then they turned left. Then straight. Then left again. Then right. Then straight. Then right. Then right again. Then left. Then straight. Then left. Then left again. Then left AGAIN. Then left _AGAIN_.

"ERR..." Cortex growled, getting impatient. Then they walked straight. Then left again. Then—

"ARRGGGHHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! WHERE IS THE STUPID PARTY STORE!?" Cortex screamed.

"Oh, are you looking for the party store? Well, if you just go right, it'll be the third store to your left," a lady said. "Thanks!" Scarlett said. She gave Cortex a look. "Men don't need directions, huh?"

* * *

><p>About 5 to 10 minutes later, Cortex walked out of the party store with the party balloons.<p>

"Wow, and I thought I'd never find these things!" he said. He looked at his watch. "Okay guys, we have some spare time..._SOME_, okay? So we have time to look in one more store..._ONE_, okay? Just to look for a gift for Uka-Uka. So which store would you like to go to?" Cortex asked everyone.

They all looked around. "Ooh! Ooh! THAT one! THAT one!" Nina yelled, pointing to a store and had electronics.

"_OOOHHH_..." Everyone gasped, staring at it. They all ran inside.

"10 minutes, guys! 10 minutes!" Cortex told them. "Oh, don't even think about it, _rocket boy_! Only people with MONEY get to LOOK at stuff!" Nina yelled at N. Gin when she found him looking at stuff.

Suddenly, she caught her eye on something. "OOOHHH..." she said as she stared at a massage chair. "PINSTRIPE!" she yelled as she sat in the chair. "Turn this thing on for me!"

Pinstripe pressed the button. "OOHHH YEEAAHHH..." Nina said, relaxing.

"Nina, get out of that chair! I can't afford to pay for that if you break it!" Cortex told her.

"Don't sweat it Cortex...THIS is what I'm getting for Uka-Uka..." Nina said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Nina! You're not getting a _massage chair_ for Uka-Uka!" Cortex yelled.

"But it's AWESOME!" Nina said as she got out of the chair. "Just sit in it!"

"Yeah, but do you know how much this thing—" Cortex began, but Nina already pushed him into the chair. "COSTS..._YEEAAHH_..." Cortex said as he relaxed in the chair.

"See? I TOLD you it was awesome! How much is all of this?" Nina asked Scarlett.

"20 dollars and 67 cents," she told her.

"Great! I might have some left over to buy me some bubble gum! Uh...I mean...buy UKA-UKA some bubble gum!" Nina said. Everyone left the room, leaving Cortex asleep in the massage chair.


	2. The Problem Begins

Cortex opened his eyes sleepily. "Mmm..." he mumbled. "Wha?" He looked around, but didn't see anyone. "Oh no!" he said. He looked all around the store, but no one was in sight.

"Oh no...oh NO NO NO NO NO!" he yelled. "Who should I look for first!? Um...NINA!"

He ran out of the massage chair and over to the guy in charge of the store. "Uh, excuse me, but have you seen a young girl with black hair and wearing a dark blue dress around here?" he asked.

"Oh, do you know her?" the guy said.

"Yes, she's my niece!" Cortex told him.

"She just came by about 5 minutes ago and asked me how much that massage chair costs. Then when I told her, she called me a rip-off artist and kicked me in the shin! She went that way," the guy said, pointing to his right.

"ERR, I'll PULVERIZE her!" Cortex growled as he took off.

"Good luck with that..." the guy mumbled.

* * *

><p>"NINA!" Cortex yelled as he ran back and forth through the mall. After he did this 4 or 5 times, he was exhausted. He found an information booth, so he ran over to it.<p>

"I've lost...somebody..." he said, out of breath.

"Can you describe them for me?" the lady asked.

"Well, there's a few...but I'll start with my niece. She's 14 years old, and she has black hair and a blue dress...she has blue skin, and—" Cortex began. "Blue skin?" the lady asked. "What!? It's possible! I mean, I have YELLOW skin, don't I!?" Cortex told her. "Oh, and—"

Suddenly—out of nowhere—Scarlett walked over to the information booth. "Uh excuse me ma'am, I'm lost..." she told the lady.

Cortex gasped. "SCARLETT!" he screamed as he hugged her.

The lady pulled her away from him. "Wait a minute...kid, do you him?" she asked.

"Well—" Scarlett began.

"I lost her!" Cortex shouted, pulling her back.

"I thought you were looking for your niece, sir!" The lady frowned.

"Well I'm looking for her, too! Tell her, Scarlett!" Cortex yelled.

"Well, I—" she began.

"That's IT! I'm calling SECURITY!" the lady yelled.

"SCARLETT RUN!" Cortex screamed. He took her hand and they ran off as fast as they could.

"HEY!" the lady yelled.

Cortex and Scarlett ran left, right, up, down, diagonally, and zig-zag, until finally, they found a clothes store. They ran inside and hid inside a coat rack.

"SCARLETT! I'm so glad I found you first! You are the voice of reason among RAVING LUNITICS! Now where are the others!?" Cortex yelled.

"Well I think Joe is still holding the door..." Scarlett started.

"I know! I mean everyone else!" Cortex yelled.

"Well, Nina and I were trying to get everyone together so we could leave, and we found them in the grocery store. N. Gin and Pinstripe were riding around in a shopping cart, but they crashed into Dingodile. Then Nina yelled at Dingodile and called him an idiot for not moving out of the way, so then Dingodile got mad and left, and Tiny followed him because he didn't want to be left alone, and I told Nina to go after them so you wouldn't get mad, but then she called me a RIP-OFF ARTIST for some reason, kicked me in the shin, and ran off!" Scarlett explained. Cortex stared at her blankly.

"...So I don't know where they are," she finished.

"Okay, if we hurry, we can still make it to the party on time, but I need you to help me find the others, okay?" Cortex asked.

"Okay," Scarlett said.

Suddenly, they heard a scream.

"Wait a minute, I know that scream anywhere!" Cortex said.

They looked at each other, then screamed, "TINY!"

* * *

><p>Cortex and Scarlett scrambled out of the coat rack and out of the clothes store. They ran into the middle of the mall.<p>

"I should've swore it came from here!" Cortex yelled.

"Rats, where could he have gone by now!?" Scarlett asked.

"AGGHHH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!" Cortex screamed, pulling his hair.

"Cortex, you're going crazy! I think you need some water or something!" Scarlett told him, never seeing him this crazy before.

She dragged him over to a concession stand. "Ice water, please," she told the man.

"Sure thing," he said.

_His voice sounds familiar..._ Scarlett thought. Cortex and her looked up.

"N. GIN!?" they screamed.

"Why are you working here!? Wait, never mind that...have you seen Nina!?" Cortex asked.

"Not recently," N. Gin shrugged.

"Dang it, well, let's go already!" Scarlett yelled, grabbing N. Gin's arm.

"Not until my 15 minute break!" N. Gin frowned.

"Fine, let's go, Cortex!" Scarlett growled.

"Wait, you still need to pay for that water."

"I don't need to pay for anything!" Scarlett yelled as Cortex and her walked away.

They both started walking, until Cortex stopped her. "Scarlett, get down!" he whispered as he pulled her down. They both hid behind a fake plant.

"What?" Scarlett asked. Cortex pointed to the information booth, which wasn't too far away from them. "Phew, thanks..." she sighed with relief.

"Tell me when she's gone, okay? I'm gonna look for Tiny..." Cortex said, about to get up and sneak away.

"She's gone," Scarlett told him.

"What?"

"She's gone!" she repeated, pointing to the desk.

"N. GIN!" Cortex yelled. There he was, sitting at the information desk.

"What happened to that one concession stand?" Scarlett asked.

"I got another job here," N. Gin said, like she should've known.

"Well, we still need to find Nina! Do you think you can page her?" Cortex asked.

"What does she look like?" N. Gin asked, taking out a notepad.

"Well, she has black hair—wait a minute, I'm not describing her for you! You KNOW what she looks like!" Cortex screamed.

"Cortex, let me handle this," Scarlett shoved him away. She walked up to N. Gin and grabbed him by his shirt. "LISTEN HERE, _ROCKET BOY_...WE DO _NOT_ HAVE TIME TO PUT UP WITH YOUR JOKES!" she screamed. "You can refuse to help us if you want to, but that means we are NOT coming back for you!" Cortex growled. "Now if you excuse us, we have to look for Tiny!"

He and Scarlett left, but N. Gin just smiled at them. _"__3...2...1..."_

"THERE THEY ARE!" a voice hollered.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" Cortex and Scarlett ran from a crowd of security guards. While they were running, they happened to see Tiny.

"Oh, hey guys!" He waved happily.

"TINY, RUN!" Cortex screamed.

"What? AAAHHHHHHH!" Tiny screamed when he saw the security guards. He ran along with Cortex and Scarlett.

Soon, the information lady walked over to N. Gin. "Do you know them?" she asked him.

"Never seen them before in my life," N. Gin told her.


	3. Couch Cushion Pursuit

Meanwhile, Nina was in a couch store. "This is pretty soft!" she said, jumping on one of the couches. She got off of it and looked at the price tag. "Ouch!" she said when she saw it was 800$. "Well, I'll only need one cushion..."

She took one of the cushions off the couch. "Hmm...$3.50 oughta do it!" she said as she left the money on the couch. She was about to walk away, when she came back. "Err...actually...3's plenty," she said as she took back to 50 cents. She walked out of the store with the cushion.

Pretty soon, a security guard caught her. "Uh, any plans to pay for that, kid?" he asked her.

"Okay first of all, I'm not a kid. I'm a teenager. Second, I already did. I left the money back there!" Nina said as she pointed at the couch.

"Uh huh..." The security guard crossed his arms.

"Okay fine...here!" Nina held up the 50 cents.

"I think you better be coming with me, kid!" he said as he took her arm.

"I told you I'm not a kid!" Nina yelled. "YOU...YOU...RIP-OFF ARTIST!" She kicked him in the shin and ran off.

"OW! Backup! I got a shoplifter on the loose! Keep on the lookout for a light blue girl with black hair and a blue dress!" the security guard yelled into his walkie-talkie.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Cortex, Tiny and Scarlett were trying to sneak past the security guards that were looking for Nina.<p>

"I think I might know where the others are. Follow me!" Cortex whispered.

They quietly tip-toed past the guards and started to run again, until they ran into somebody.

"N. GIN!" Scarlett yelled. "You gotta help us! We got security guards on our tails..." Then she noticed he was wearing a security guard outfit. "Why are you wearing—OH, DON'T TELL ME!" she yelled.

"As leader of the security guards, I command you to turn yourselves in!" N. Gin frowned.

"TURN OURSELVES IN!? ARE YOU NUTS?" Cortex yelled.

"Don't make me call the other guards!" N. Gin held up his walkie-talkie.

"Oh YEAH? Come on! I DARE ya!" Scarlett yelled at him.

"N. Gin, don't listen to her! She's crazy!" Cortex yelled.

N. Gin turned on his walkie-talkie, and said, "Found them."

"YOU TRAITOR!" Tiny screamed. A whole bunch of security guards chased them, so they ran away.

* * *

><p>"...Beanbag chairs are soft...maybe I can fill one up with hamsters..." Nina told herself.<p>

"AAAAHHHHH!" Everyone all screamed as they ran right past her.

She didn't notice them, though. "I thought I saw a pet store around here somewhere..." she muttered.

"Hey, hold on a second..." one security guard said to another.

"Yup, she's the one," the other said. They both headed towards Nina. "Hey, kid!" "We're talking to you, kid!"

Nina turned around angrily. "Okay, but for future reference, I am NOT a kid! I'm a TEENAGER!" she yelled.

"How interesting...cause we received a report: light blue girl running around, stealing couch cushions and kicking people in the shin! That wouldn't be YOU...would it?" the security guard said.

"Well, that certainly would NOT be me, cause I wasn't _stealing_ ANY couch cushions! ...And I'm not LIGHT blue as you can plainly see!" Nina yelled.

"You look light blue to me," the security guard said.

"No, no! I'm just _regular_ blue!" Nina told her.

"No, I see what she's saying. Light blue is more of a robin's egg color. She looks more of a cerulean!" the other guard said.

"Are you kidding? That's DEFINITELY light blue!" the security guard yelled.

"No, no! I've taking some art classes!" the other guard told him. "In fact, she looks almost indigo."

* * *

><p>"QUICK! Get a shopping cart!" Scarlett yelled.<p>

Tiny grabbed a shopping cart, and Cortex and her jumped into it. Tiny started pushing them, running as fast as he could. The good news was that they lost the guards, but the bad news was that they were going so fast they couldn't see where they were going, so they accidentally crashed into Pinstripe. The shopping cart fell over.

"Pinstripe! Thank goodness, we actually found someone who's not trying to catch us!" Scarlett shouted as she hugged him. Pinstripe winked at her, and she instantly let go, slightly blushing.

"You guys know where Nina is?" Pinstripe glanced at Cortex.

"No, why?" Cortex asked.

"I was with her, then I told her that we needed to find the others, but then she kicked me in the shin for some reason and ran off!" Pinstripe told him.

"We need to find her, but it's gonna be hard with security guards after us and all..." Cortex muttered.

"What did you guys DO!?" Pinstripe's eyes widened.

"Cortex made the stupid information lady think that he kidnapped me, and she sent security guards after us!" Scarlett told him.

"Where's Tiny?" Cortex asked.

Scarlett looked around, then saw Tiny lying on the ground. She ran over to him. "Come on, Tiny! We need to keep moving!" she told him as she pulled his arm.

"No! I'm too tired!" Tiny complained.

Suddenly, a guard caught us. "HEY! STOP!" he yelled.

"AAAHHH!" Pinstripe screamed. He and Cortex started to help Scarlett pull Tiny up.

"No!" Tiny yelled again. Instead of pulling him, they tried to push him. Tiny still wouldn't get up, though.

"Wait, I have an idea!" Pinstripe grinned. "Hey, Tiny, someone is gonna throw Nina off a cliff!"

"NO ONE THROWS NINA OFF A CLIFF!" Tiny screamed as he got up. They started running all over again.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the security guards were STILL trying to guess Nina's color. By then, even MORE security guards showed up.<p>

"Aqua, probably," one said.

"Aquamarine?" another said.

"Navy!"

"Periwinkle, possibly..."

"Uh, blue-green? Are you BLIND?"

"Uh...listen guys, I gotta run...so let's just say that I'm NOT light blue!" Nina told everyone. "Besides, I paid for that couch cushion fair and square."

She walked away, leaving all the security guards wide eyed.


	4. The Escape!

"No...don't do it...don't throw Nina...off a...CLIFF..." Tiny said weakly as he fell to the ground.

"I thought he'd NEVER stop!" Scarlett panted.

They all got off the ground. "Who do we need to look for?" Pinstripe asked.

"Dingodile and Nina. Joe's probably still holding the door, and N. Gin betrayed us," Scarlett told him.

"Let's look for Dingodile first, cause we obviously can't find Nina anywhere," Cortex said.

"Found him," Scarlett pointed straight at him. He was walking around, angrily muttering things to himself.

"Dingodile!" she yelled as she ran to him. "Are you okay?"

"Scarlett…would you be okay if someone you hate rammed into you with a shopping cart!?" Dingodile yelled.

Scarlett thought about that for a moment. "No."

"Exactly. Now where is N. Gin? I need to have a "talk" with him!" Dingodile growled.

"He betrayed us! He's now the leader of all the security guards that are after us!" Scarlett told him.

Dingodile stared at him, then shook his head. "I don't even wanna know…" he muttered.

"Who we need to find right now is Nina, cause I haven't seen her ever since the whole massage chair incident, and I sure hope that she's not getting into trouble!" Cortex said.

Suddenly, everyone heard an ear-piercing scream. They all immediately turned around and saw Nina sprinting towards them.

"HOLY COW!" Pinstripe shouted when he saw all the security guards that were behind her.

"NINA…what did you DO!?" Cortex screamed.

Nina didn't stop when she reached them, though. She just ran right around them and continued sprinting behind them.

Everyone turned around and saw all the security guards. That's when they realized that _they_ need to run, too. "AAAAAHHHHH!" they screamed as they ran right after her. They all ran towards the entrance, where Joe was _still_ holding the door.

"You're welcome…you're welcome…you're welcome…" he was saying to all the people heading out.

"JOE! Come on, we gotta GO!" Cortex screamed, pulling his arm.

"Just a second, there's some guys coming!" Joe pointed inside. Cortex's eyes widened, because they were the security guards.

"Don't worry, I got this!" Nina declared. She snatched Dingodile's flamethrower from his hand and smashed it on the ground. "OOPS! A little help please!?" she yelled.

"I'll deal with you LATER…" Dingodile growled at her.

"Nina!" Joe yelled as he let go of the door and walked over to Dingodile. He picked up all the pieces that were left of his flamethrower on the ground.

Everyone suddenly heard a crash, and turned to the door. All the security guards were smashed onto the door.

"Oops…" Joe muttered.

Cortex grabbed his hand and everyone ran over to his car. When he opened the door, they saw N. Gin in the driver's seat.

"Hop aboard!" he grinned.

"OH, GET OUT OF HERE!" Scarlett yelled as she shoved him out.

Everyone scrambled into the car, and slammed all the doors shut. "Did we get everyone?" Cortex asked, turning around.

"HEY! STOP!" a voice yelled from outside.

"JUST _DRIVE!"_ Pinstripe screamed.

Cortex slammed his foot on the gas pedal, and they all finally got the heck outta that place.

* * *

><p>When everyone finally reached Cortex's lair, the first thing Nina did was run out with one of the chairs from the car. "Nina! Get back here with that!" Cortex yelled. "No, I need it!" Nina yelled back.<p>

Everyone ran into the lair. "_SURPRISE!_" they all yelled as soon as they got inside.

Everyone else was just sitting at the table. They didn't look to happy to see them.

"Yeah...surprise..." Cortex said sarcastically as he looked at his watch.

"Oh Uka-Uka! Look I what I got ya!" Nina said, showing him the chair she got from the car.

"Oh, it's one of the chairs from Cortex's car, ooh…" Uka-Uka muttered, not so enthusiastic.

"No, no! Sit in it!" Nina told him.

Uka sat in the chair, then Nina started shaking it to make it seem like a massage chair.

"Here's your party balloons, you obsessive clock freak!" Cortex growled, handing N. Tropy what was left of all the party balloons.

"Well, I hope you're happy! You practically ruined the entire party!" N. Tropy yelled at him.

"So, how do you like it!?" Nina asked Uka.

"I-I-It's v-very n-n-nice, I-I g-guess…" Uka said.

"_Oh UKA…_" a voice called out.

Nina turned around and saw N. Gin. "Oh no you don't! You're not getting any credit! You didn't even have any—_OOOHHHH_…" She gasped.

The massage chair was sitting right in that very room!

"Check THIS out!" N. Gin told Uka.

Uka got onto the massage chair and pressed the button. "OOHH YEEAAHH…" he said, relaxing in the chair.

"H-H-HOW DID YOU GET THAT!?" Nina screamed, shaking N. Gin back and forth.

"I got jobs!" N. Gin told her.

"YOU—YOU—" Nina yelled, threatening to punch him in the face. He just smiled at her.

Nina walked over to Uka-Uka. "Uka-Uka…my gift's good too, right? Uh, It's the thought that counts, right!?" she asked him.

"Sure it does…well…no, not really. This thing is just AWESOME!" Uka yelled as he spun around in the chair.

Nina stormed over to N. Gin, upset and disappointed.

"RIP-OFF ARTIST!" N. Gin yelled at her.

"Rip-off artist!?"

N. Gin kicked her in the shin.

"OW MY SHIN!" Nina cried.


End file.
